A Thought for Father's Day

It’s a sad fact, but often it’s not until we nearly lose a loved one that we realize just how much that person means to us. We take for granted that he or she will always be around. This lesson was brought to light in my life just a few years ago.

One morning, while living in Branson, Missouri, I received a phone call from Orlando, Florida. The call was from my older brother who informed me that my dad had just been taken by ambulance to a hospital. It appeared dad had suffered a heart attack. At that time, the only other information my brother had was that dad was stabilized and being transferred to another hospital that specialized in treating heart patients.

A few hours later the phone rang again. This time it was my oldest brother, who lived out west, on the line. Mom called and asked him to relay additional information.

Dad had indeed suffered a heart attack. The doctors found that one of his coronary arteries was 99% blocked. Another was 50% blocked. Dad’s heart had only been getting 60% of its normal blood flow, so the doctors were going to perform an angioplasty to try and break up the blockage.

That afternoon I received a third call concerning my father’s status. This time, the call was from my mother. Even though each call concerning my father brought news that was worse than the previous call, I was still dumbfounded by mom’s update.

Dad didn’t just have a heart attack. He’d had a major coronary. How much damage his heart had sustained was yet to be determined, and although the angioplasty was a success, the doctors had to use the “electric paddles” three times to shock dad’s heart back into a steady rhythm. The next 48 hours would be the most critical for him. All we could do now was pray and hope he’d pull through.

I went into a numbing shock. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t feel, just blank inside.

Dad had always been there for us. He had always been the steady, strong one, the one everybody leaned on, the foundation of our family (even now, as I’m closing in on the 50th year of my life, from time to time I find myself seeking dad’s wisdom and council on important issues). The mere thought of dad not being around anymore was incomprehensible.

So much of who I am, the kind of man I am, I owe to my father. By word and by example he taught me many important things, things like honesty, integrity, and to seek God’s guidance in all my endeavors.

Dad also taught me the meaning of love and sacrificing for your loved ones when, during years of financial strain, I saw him go without many necessities so he could afford shoes for my brothers and me or buy food for us to eat.

As I witnessed my father conquer many of his weaknesses, I learned that it’s never too late, you’re never too old to improve yourself.

I owed him so much. I had so many unsaid “thanks,” “I love you,” and “I’m sorry,” that his time on earth just couldn’t be through.

You see, when I reached my teenage years my dad and I had some heated disagreements. I was hotheaded, strong willed, and stubborn. I was very disrespectful.

Yes, the thoughtlessness of youth convinced me that dad knew little concerning life, especially a teenager’s life. But time and the experience of parenthood taught me just how wrong I was.

I found myself more than ever regretting the times I mistreated dad. I just had to have one more chance to tell dad that I loved him, that I respected and honored him, and that I was so very sorry for giving him such a rough time when I was younger.

Then shame filled my soul. I felt so sad that it took a tragedy like a major coronary to make me realize how much I took dad for granted. And as I thought about having never really expressed to him what he’s meant to me all of my life, and that I may never get the chance to tell him, I felt a heavy weight upon my own heart.

Thankfully, I was given the opportunity to express my love to my father. He recovered, albeit with quite a bit of damage, from his heart attack.

But what about those people who aren’t so blessed to have another chance to tell and show their loved ones how they feel about them? How do they cope with knowing that because they took for granted, as we all do, that their loved ones would always be around, they passed on opportunities to express their love for them?

And therein, my dear readers, lies the lesson; don’t wait to tell the people you care about what they mean to you. Who knows, the next chance you get might be your last.