The Technologically Challenged
I'm among the many who are considered technologically challenged (we're the ones whose electronic devices constantly blink 12:00). Cell phones especially give me trouble.
Every time I buy a new one, I'm forever trying to figure out how to operate it. By the time I do figure it out it's time to upgrade to a newer model, and my techno troubles start anew. And those troubles have put me in some embarrassing situations.
Recently at church, during the middle of the clergy's talk, I received a call on my cell. I thought I'd set the ring tone on my phone to the silent mode for incoming calls. Wrong!
Now, having the ring tone on my phone go off during church would have been embarrassing enough had I set it to sound like the ring of a standard phone. Having the ring tone of my phone go off during church would have been embarrassing enough had I set it to play a catchy little tune. Having the ring tone of my phone go off during church would have been embarrassing enough had I set it to say some funny little phrase or quote. But nooooooo, I'd set the ring tone of my cell phone to sound like barking dogs, very loud barking dogs, barking dogs that to this day startle me when I receive a call!
I floundered about the pew, resembling something akin to a dog in desperate need of a good worming, in an effort to silence my phone, but it was to no avail.
So, red-faced, I scurried out to the foyer with my hand over my pone, trying to muffle the "WOOF, WOOF! WOOF, WOOF!" while the eyes of the congregation roamed the chapel in search of the idiot who'd brought his dogs to church. It's a wonder I'm still allowed to worship there.
Not figuring out how to set my ringer tone to silent is just one of the embarrassing situations I've been into thanks to being technologically challenged. You see, I have a feature on my phone that I'm sure I'd enjoy if I could just once successfully perform the operation to use it. This feature is the call-waiting feature, and it's been a trial for me.
Oh I've read the instruction manual, more than once, and it seems easy enough to do. But when I'm conversing with one person and call-waiting beeps, premature senility sets in, and in the process of trying to switch from one caller to another I disconnect both parties.
Once, when switching from one phone line to the other, I somehow accessed the conference-call menu, enabling three of us to chat with each other at once. Thankfully, there were no repercussions from that mistake. Of course, I now live in fear that when chatting with a lady friend another will beep in and I'll once again accidentally access the conference-call mode. Losing the affection of two ladies in one felled swoop would be so depressing.
But what really scares me is what I recently read concerning a cell phone that fits in your tooth like a filling. A cell phone in your tooth, are you kidding me?! Judging from my ineptness to work my current cell phone, I don't think a phone that fits into my tooth is for me.
On the other hand, if someone I'm mad at has one and it sits adjacent to a bad tooth, well I might be technologically challenged but I do know how to push the redial button.
Every time I buy a new one, I'm forever trying to figure out how to operate it. By the time I do figure it out it's time to upgrade to a newer model, and my techno troubles start anew. And those troubles have put me in some embarrassing situations.
Recently at church, during the middle of the clergy's talk, I received a call on my cell. I thought I'd set the ring tone on my phone to the silent mode for incoming calls. Wrong!
Now, having the ring tone on my phone go off during church would have been embarrassing enough had I set it to sound like the ring of a standard phone. Having the ring tone of my phone go off during church would have been embarrassing enough had I set it to play a catchy little tune. Having the ring tone of my phone go off during church would have been embarrassing enough had I set it to say some funny little phrase or quote. But nooooooo, I'd set the ring tone of my cell phone to sound like barking dogs, very loud barking dogs, barking dogs that to this day startle me when I receive a call!
I floundered about the pew, resembling something akin to a dog in desperate need of a good worming, in an effort to silence my phone, but it was to no avail.
So, red-faced, I scurried out to the foyer with my hand over my pone, trying to muffle the "WOOF, WOOF! WOOF, WOOF!" while the eyes of the congregation roamed the chapel in search of the idiot who'd brought his dogs to church. It's a wonder I'm still allowed to worship there.
Not figuring out how to set my ringer tone to silent is just one of the embarrassing situations I've been into thanks to being technologically challenged. You see, I have a feature on my phone that I'm sure I'd enjoy if I could just once successfully perform the operation to use it. This feature is the call-waiting feature, and it's been a trial for me.
Oh I've read the instruction manual, more than once, and it seems easy enough to do. But when I'm conversing with one person and call-waiting beeps, premature senility sets in, and in the process of trying to switch from one caller to another I disconnect both parties.
Once, when switching from one phone line to the other, I somehow accessed the conference-call menu, enabling three of us to chat with each other at once. Thankfully, there were no repercussions from that mistake. Of course, I now live in fear that when chatting with a lady friend another will beep in and I'll once again accidentally access the conference-call mode. Losing the affection of two ladies in one felled swoop would be so depressing.
But what really scares me is what I recently read concerning a cell phone that fits in your tooth like a filling. A cell phone in your tooth, are you kidding me?! Judging from my ineptness to work my current cell phone, I don't think a phone that fits into my tooth is for me.
On the other hand, if someone I'm mad at has one and it sits adjacent to a bad tooth, well I might be technologically challenged but I do know how to push the redial button.
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11 comments:
Brilliant post and I wish that I had been a fly on the wall at your church. Way too funny.
Take care xx
Hahahaha!! But shame on you for having barking dogs in church. If they ban you I wouldn't blame them!
This brought back memories of when I posted about cell phones! I think the best advice for you is to leave it in the car while you are in church!
I can never figure out my cell phone either. I can make calls and that's about it. I gave up trying to do much else.
The last time I went to the movies, a couple of weeks ago, the guy sitting beside me kept checking his for messages. (it was very crowded and that was the only seat I could find). It never left his hands the whole time! Arghhhh!!!!!!
MY cell phone story is NOT funny--won't post it here, but I will post it on my blog.
Dogs barking in church--that IS funny!
Shame on you! I have no problem figuring out the features and tools on my phone and other techno gadgets. I set my phone to vibrate and put it in my pocket while I'm at work or church or meeting or whatever. The only problem with that is when it goes off I jump three feet into the air. Then I really get some weird looks!
Hello Doug! Been awhile for me, I know, tsk tsk. Once again you have made me laugh.I've only recently learned how to turn my phone ringer off. My problem is getting the darn thing back on again.So now I just turn the whole phone off when inside somewhere so it won't bother people. Have a Happy Easter!
Renae
Hi Doug, welcome to the world of tech challenged people, there are so many of us that we could rule the world... if only we knew which button to press.
The kids constantly text me and I have no idea how to return the favor.
Well Doug, finally read your story , i say shame on you too, for not knowing how to use your cell phone.. my youngest can figure out everything. Get with it, and put some cool music on that ring. And about the problem if and i say IF! 2 girls call at the same time to talk to you then you should not be answering one of them.... How RUDE!!!!
Jeeeze anonymous, I never would've thought that a story about my ineptitude with all things technology would get such a rise out of someone. I wrote about it because I figured others could relate and get a chuckle out of it. Sorry it didn't do that for you.
hey Doug. One day I was at the bank and a rooster crowed behind me. Was a big old farmer in bib overalls funbling for his cockle-doodle-dooing phone. All he could say was "I need to figure this out because my kid set this and he is a smartass"
Happy Easter!
Anonymous needs to get a life!!! and i quite enjoyed the cell phone story, we have that happen often at our church, people forget!! now we post a sign on the power point!! Just dropped in from renae's site to say hello and Happy easter!
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