Feeling a Little Abbreviated

In this rapid, fast-paced world we live in we’ve become an abbreviated society. It seems the more things we can abbreviate the better.

For instance, when my oldest son (who, by the way, is not a Jr.) was a teenager, I had difficulty pulling him away from the TV, mostly in the PM every Sun. and Mon., because he was psycho when it came to watching the NFL on NBC or ESPN. For him it didn’t matter if it was an AFC or an NFC team that was playing. He just loves the game.

And speaking of football, as a side note, at one time or another all three of my sons wanted to play, but I never could keep straight which son wanted to play what position. There’s QB, TB, HB, FB, TE, WR, and LB, just to name a few.

When the NFL season was over I still had a tough time pulling eldest son away from the TV because the NBA would be in full swing, and he enjoyed basketball as much as he did football. In fact, eldest son often watched two games at once. He accomplished this by pressing the PC button on the TV remote.

The TV is just one item in the house which is abbreviated. There’s also the A/C, which is set at a comfortable temp., to keep the house cool and comfy in the summer months.

All of us have vacuums in our homes. Is yours a dry vac or a wet vac? Perhaps you have a shop vac for your garage. Or some of you, I’m sure, have built-in vacs in your homes.

Other areas of our lives are abbreviated as well. Last Jun. I was rushed to the E.R. of our local hospital for what turned out to be a kinked intestine (see I Choose to Laugh). I was taken there in a Sonata, not a Chevy, GMC, or an Olds, and we didn’t exceed the allotted mph allowed by law. No sense in getting a ticket for speeding and having to appear before a J.P.

Now, while I was at the E.R. an RN gave me some meds (under Dr’s orders) in an I.V. for pain. I was a guest of the hospital for a few days, and when I was released someone besides me did the drive home, because I didn’t want to get into an accident and be charged with a DUI by a trooper of the FHP.

The business world is another area of life that is polluted with abbreviations. Right now I’m typing this on my PC, which is equipped with a CD Rom, but I don’t have a fax. If I had a fax I could send my writing to almost anywhere in the United States: KC, MO; SLC, UT; LA or SF, CA for example.

Many corps have a Pres, a VP, and a CEO. Often these positions in a co require the individual to travel long distances for work. If they fly they must decide on which airline to travel. AA, UA, CA, DAL, and FA are just five from which to choose.

Finally, life itself is broken down into abbreviations. Time is dated either B.C. or A.D., and the hr, min, and sec of one’s birth or death are usually recorded.

Yes, as time goes on we’re becoming more and more of an abbreviated society, so when I die just bury me in a T-shirt and jeans, put R.I.P. on my headstone, and I’ll be O.K.