He Who Laughs Last. . .

When I was a youngster, my childhood friend Skunky Wilson and I reverenced April Fools Day. On that day, we made an extra effort to stretch our creative processes to out do our pranks of the previous year. Most often, we succeeded.

The April Fools of my 15th year, Skunky and I were walking home from school when I asked for his help to payback my brother Delroy and my mom for the pranks they'd played on me earlier that day--Mom and Delroy had put Lux Liquid dish soap in gelatin bowls, hoping the rest of the family would mistake them for whipped Jell-o. Knowing this was one of my favorite desserts, it was almost guaranteed that I'd fall for the prank. To this day, the taste of that stuff still lingers on my tongue.

Oh, but Mom and Delroy didn't stop there. They sewed the pant legs of my jeans shut, which made getting them on an interesting project. Then, at lunch that day, instead of biting into a sandwich with sliced lunch meat between bread slices, I bit into a sandwich with torn pieces of brown paper bag.

Well, Skunky agreed to help me, and after school we hung around the house, waiting for an opportunity to spring a couple of surprises on my mother and older sibling. And boy, were we successful.

As soon as Mom and my brothers left the house to run errands, the first thing Skunky and I did was enter the bathroom, find a can of mousse, a can of hair remover, and then searched for a glue stick. Once we had these items in hand, we carefully steamed the labels off of the cans, dried the labels, rubbed the backs of them with glue, and stuck them to the opposite can--the label from the can of hair remover to the can of mousse and vice versa.

Next, Skunky and I took the pins out of the hinges of my parents' bedroom door but left the door in place, shut, as if the pins were still in. We did the same to Delroy's bedroom door.

Later that evening, from the vicinity of Del's bedroom, we heard, "Aaaaayyyyeeee," followed by a loud crash and a faint, "Got me."

Everyone quickly gathered around the doorway of my brother's bedroom and laughter filled the hall as we stood there admiring Skunky's and my handiwork. It was a proud moment to be sure.
After this incident took place, paranoia set in amongst most everyone and backs were kept to the wall for a good portion of the evening. Just as everyone started to let down their guard a little, my dad entered his bedroom to put away some freshly washed clothes. Dad didn't say anything after the door crashed, at least nothing coherent. He just handed me a hammer and pointed to his bedroom. I grabbed the pins and promptly secured the door.

Well, I was feeling fairly full of myself as I crawled into bed, but as I slid under the blankets my legs came to an abrupt halt, practically jamming my knees up to my chin. "Hey, what's the deal here?" I asked. Yip, my bed had been short-sheeted, and I could hear Mom and Del laughing in their respective rooms. Ah, but the fun wasn't over, not by a long shot.

You see, for several weeks after that fateful night, Delroy was never seen without a stocking cap over his mostly bald head, and Mom's legs were so nicked and cut from the straight-edge razor she had to buy, she looked as if she'd been in a fight with an alley cat.

What is it they say about he who laughs last?