Hey Pickle Head, I'll Take Two Strawberry-Blonds With Chicken Legs

Let's face it, though some people in our society have worked hard for change, we still live in world where too much emphasis is placed on one's perceived attractiveness. And for those of us who don't eat to live but live to eat, society has made it very difficult for us to discipline ourselves when it comes to our eating habits; the English language seems to equate almost everything with food. Just feast your eyes on the following:

Let's start off with the human being. Someone who is considered not too bright can be called a potato head (and remember, potatoes have eyes), a meat head, or a pickle head, just to name a few. If your head is adorned with red hair you're a carrot top, or perhaps you are a person who has strawberry-blond hair. There are people who have cauliflower ears, toe jam, and of course, we all have our own set of buns. If you're unfortunate enough to have an acne problem you probably have heard the term pizza face once or twice; then there are those who have a peaches-and-cream complexion.

We've heard the terms beer belly, onion breath, pickle breath, armpit juice, Adam's apple, duck feet, goose neck, and peach fuzz (growing on a young man's face). An unattractive person may be considered a cow, a heavy person may be considered a butter ball, and one who is underweight could very well have chicken legs--it all sounds like a smorgasbord at a restaurant for cannibals.

Besides the physical and mental aspects of the human being, we also compare each other to food in other ways. A really nice person can be a "peach" to work with, where as, a jerk is a real weenie or a turkey. If you act silly you are a nut or have gone bananas; if a guy is cocky he is a hot dog. A little girl can be the apple of her daddy's eye. A person can be colder than the center seed of a cucumber or hotter than a pepper. I've been labeled a pig when I've eaten more than my share of food at supper time.

Then there's other terminology which we use. Have you ever been on a wild goose chase? If a cool wind is blowing, you might say it's chilly outside. We can drive a stake (yes, I know the last two are not spelled like the food that they make us thing of, but the connotation is still there) into the ground. If we care to, we can find a court on which to play a game of squash.

Personally, I can remember playing potato ball and crab soccer in P.E. during my high school days. Many of us have owned a car that turned out be a lemon. Those little German canines are often called Wiener dogs, and a dog which the genes of several breeds flowing through its veins is called a Heinz 57.

And down here in the Southern States, one may be served hush puppies as part of one's meal. If we want to we can eat a date, set a date, make a date, break a date, take out a date, double date, or single date. It can be sooooo confusing!

Well, it's time to quit this nonsense and go pump kin for family gossip; yeah, I know, that last one was really stretching it a bit, but orange you glad I put it in there anyway?