Things Are Tight

I knew our economy was sluggish and people’s budget’s were tight, but I didn’t realize just how bad things have gotten until a few weeks ago. I was driving home from work when I saw a Chrysler 300 Series luxury car coming the other way with a pizza delivery sign on the roof.

As if that wasn’t enough proof of how just how bad things have gotten, the other day I saw a late model Lincoln Town Car going down the highway and guess what was on the roof; yep, a pizza delivery sign. Now I am scared.

Airlines also are feeling the pinch of a sluggish economy. Rising fuel costs have caused them to "stick it" to the consumer in many ways. Of course airfares have risen dramatically over the last year or so, and some airlines are charging extra for over-sized carry-on baggage as well as extra carry-on baggage. Some are even charging for all baggage, check-in or otherwise.

Some airlines are pulling completely out of small airports, and I saw where at least one is charging extra for any food or drink, except the peanuts. Woo hoo, free peanuts! I’m sure on a long flight when a passenger goes into a diabetic coma because he can’t afford to purchase food his family will be sure to thank the airline for its hospitality. But I divert.

Commuter airlines are taking this whole thing to the extreme. I went to the check-in counter of a littler commuter plane the other day and while checking in my luggage the girl behind the counter asked me how much I weighed.

“And just why do you need to know?” I inquired.


“So we know how much fuel to put in,” she answered.

“Fill ‘er up!” I yelled. “I’ll pay for it; just fill ‘er up! I weigh 800 pounds; fill ‘er up!

It would be just my luck to board a flight with someone who lied about his weight. Can you imagine meeting your maker earlier than planned just because some guy fibbed about how much he weighed?

Check-in person: you got more chins than a Chinese phone book. You sure you only weight 99 pounds?

Four hundred pound passenger: don’t let these big bones fool you [what being big-boned has to do with having multiple chins is something I’ve never been able to figure out], I really am 99 pounds.

Motels are also getting into the act of cutting way back on services to keep the down the cost of running their businesses. Like the one that advertised huge discount rates. I went inside and asked the desk clerk about it. He said in order to get the lowest rate for a room I’d have to make my own bed. I didn’t think that was so bad until he handed me a hammer and saw!

My room had a Jacuzzi, which made me very excited. That excitement was soon quelled when I discovered their idea of a Jacuzzi was me sitting in a bathtub of water, holding an electric mixer. Needless to say, I stayed there only one night.

The economic crunch has hit the Bagley household too. In fact, for her birthday Sweetie wants me to take her somewhere expensive and I'm going to. I’m thinking I'm going to drop her off at a gas station.