Dr. Mengele the Dentist

After a couple of hours in Dr. Josef Mengele lll, 24 hour dental office last night, I've sworn never again to put off dental work until it becomes a late night emergency. First, the guy wouldn't numb me enough to totally block the pain, and considering he performed two root canals and two extractions on me, well, let's just say more than once, while drilling and pulling on my teeth, he had to peel me off the ceiling like one of those cartoon cats when a big ole bulldog sneaks up on it and lets out a loud, ferocious bark. I mean, ten minutes into this routine and I was spilling my guts about every little family secret I could remember in hopes that he would stop torturing me. And he was about as gentle as a rodeo bull with his hoohaws tightly bound to his stomach with a leather strap. Second, his dental assistant (and boy do I use that term loosely) had absolutely no experience, but she was gaining it . . .on me! I swear, one time she had the suction tube so deep in my mouth she pulled up last night's Lean Cuisine! Another time she practically sucked my tongue, fillings, and teeth right out of my mouth. Well, two hours, two teeth, and $1,700.00 later, the good doctor finished his business with me. As I was leaving he told me to make a follow up appointment. Riiiiggghhhht, getting me to go back there would be about as easy as, well, pulling teeth--I can't believe I said that.