Sadomasochism? Naw, It's Just Fishing Season

The warm weather is upon us. The sky seems bluer, and the sun is out longer. Trees are in bloom, and birds, high in their nests sing their sweet melodies, beckoning us to come out and play. For many, these signal the coming of fishing season!

Some of us don't understand people who can't see the joy of fishing. There's nothing in this world that can be compared to drawing blood from a finger pricked with a fish hook (I've done this many a time and found that the best part of pricking one's finger with a fish hook is when the pain subsides and the blood stops oozing). And what's better than the feel of a nice, long wiggly night crawler between your fingers as you thread onto a hook?

Stream fishing for trout, that's the best. Getting up long before the sun opens its eyes, stumbling into your clothes with one eye shut--the other half open--and stuffing your mouth full of something grabbed blindly from the fridge (realizing too late what you grabbed was fish bait) , is fun beyond description.

There's no choice about getting up before dawn either; that's when the fish are biting. The middle of the day is no good--fish don't eat lunch. But what the heck, it's pure delight romping through the woods, stumbling over logs and boulders in the dark. Don't worry about getting poked in the eye by an unseen branch--you were born with a spare.

If the twelve cups of hot black coffee you've had for breakfast haven't awakened you by the time you step into that ice-cold stream, the leak in your trusty old hip boots will.

There's no need to worry about the necessities of life out in the wild. Everything you need is within reach. Need to wash your hands? Just dip them in the stream and dry them with the surrounding foliage. Stinging nettle is a great paper substitute, especially if Mother Nature pays you a visit. It's sure to put a little bounce in your step (by the way, I really don't recommend stinging nettle for wiping your derriere. Trust me; it's not a pleasant experience)
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If the fish aren't biting and you need a little diversion, just forget about those branches overhead and go for a nice, high, long cast--then you can spend the next two hours untangling your line from the trees.

It's never lonely fishing a stream. There are animals to keep you company. Speaking from personal experience, being chased by a bull moose is more thrilling than a day at Disney World. It also provides a great excuse as to why you've returned to camp empty-handed.

What a rush you get when you hear the beautiful sound of rattles (I'm talking rattle snake here folks) coming right from where you just placed your foot--it's good for the body to break out in a cold sweat now and then.

There are things to ponder while you're busy catching nothing. Things like, what made that rustling noise in the bushes behind you? Of course, all of the horror stories you've ever read about bear attacks go flashing through your head to help intensify the moment. What an adventure!

And there's that wonderful fisherman's smell that everybody loves. It's such a romantic aroma. It should be bottled and sold--"Essence of Dead Fish"--works for me.
Another great thing about fishing is it can be done rain or shine. Why, many people swear to the fact that some of their best fishing has been in the rain. I'm sure they mumble that to themselves, every time they hobble back to camp drenched, numb, and empty-handed.

Finally, all you need to join this fun is, for a slight fee, the purchase of a license...and bait...and sinkers... and floats… and hooks… and…