Parents' Revenge

A couple of months ago, eldest son and his wife dropped by after work to visit. It just so happened that my parents, my younger brother, and youngest son were there too.
Anyway, son and daughter-in-law arrived, carrying a small, round, tall chocolate cake. As they handed it to me, they mentioned the cake was left over from a party at daughter-in-law’s place of employment.

“Wow!” I thought, “a cake all for me,” and then I noticed the writing on the top of the cake. I read it out loud, “[daughter-in-law’s name] is pregnant.” That’s right; I’m going to be a grandpa for the first time, and oh have I been waiting for this day to arrive.

You see, eldest son will soon be walking in my shoes, the shoes of a parent. He’ll get to experience the wide range, the highs and lows, of emotions that children put their parents through, while I'll get to sit back, watch and grin. In a way, you might say that grandchildren are a parent’s revenge.

With this in mind, I now share with my son, and with all parents of the world, the tongue-in-cheek lyrics to the song, Should’ve Had Dogs, by Roger Whittaker.

Should’ve Had Dogs

If I’d known about an angry wife with a two-by-four
If I’d only listened when you told me ‘bout a mother-in-law
If I’d known how much things change when you say ‘I do’
Well I wouldn’t have done what I did I’m telling you

I would’ve had dogs
I would’ve had dogs
If I’d known then what I know now
Well I would’ve had dogs

I was led by the nose like a bull from the very start
And I must say I really enjoyed the beginning part
You know your favorite food and the bed and the lights down low
But then the kids come along and romance has to go

Well I should’ve had dogs
Oh I should’ve had dogs
If I’d known then what I know now
Well I would’ve had dogs

Suddenly they seem to arrive in two’s and three’s
Any ordinary man would be brought down to his knees
She says daddy can I have that dress and I want that hat
How can any daddy tell her no when she asks like that?

Oh I should’ve had dogs
Oh I should’ve had dogs
If I’d known then what I know now
Well I would’ve had dogs

Now my eldest son has survived to seventeen
And I’m the stupidest man that the world has ever seen
I’m wrong about everything in his young life
And the endless things I’m wrong about lead to strife

Oh I should’ve had dogs
Oh I should’ve had dogs
If I’d known then what I know now
Well I would’ve had dogs

It’s said that trial and tribulation ends
And they all grow up and you all get to be friends
I can’t wait for the day I know will come to pass
When they have kids of their own and I can laugh, ha, ha, ha, ha

Oh you should’ve had dogs
Oh you should’ve had dogs
If you’d know then what I know now
Well you would’ve had dogs

Oh you should’ve had dogs
Oh you should’ve had dogs
If they put you what you put me through
Well you’d wish you’d had dogs