Sunday, January 01, 2006

Bumper Stickers and Personalized Tags...Keep 'Em to Yourself, Will Ya?

Bumper stickers and personalized license plates (or tags, as we call them in these parts) are fun to read. You can also learn a lot about people by what their bumper stickers and personalized tags say.

I saw a personalized tag that read, PRAY 4 YOU. The first thing to cross my mind was, is this guy so bad at operating a motor vehicle that he prays for others when he gets behind the wheel of his car? Take it from folks, if you see PRAY 4 YOU on a vehicles tag GET OUT OF THE WAY!

And speaking of religious personalized tags, I also read one which said, I PRAY. That's nice. I just hope if the guy prays and drives simultaneously that he keeps his eyes open. But just in case, I think I'll start praying while I drive. . .for me!

Then there's the tag on a car that simply says, BOOGER. Do you suppose the idea for that one came from a bad habit the guy never broke? But I really shouldn't pick on him, so let's move on.
Bumper stickers. Yeah, they can sure provide some good reading material too. There's the car with the bumper sticker that reads, HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS. Someone did, and in return got the Florida State Bird. You know, the one-finger howdy. But isn't that how it usually goes? Those who wear their religion on their car can be some of the rudest people on the road.

Another bumper sticker I saw on a car said, OUR OTHER CAR IS A ROLLS ROYCE. Liars, liars, liars! That car was beat up, the bumpers were tied on , the hood over the engine was secured with bailing wire, the trunk had no lid, and the car was missing its roof. If you believe their other car is a Rolls Royce I have some terrific swamp land you might be interested in purchasing.

The other day, I saw a sticker on the bumper of a truck that read, MEN ARE IDIOTS AND I MARRIED THEIR KING! Now, there's a marriage that's going to last. I guess we know who calls the shots in that relationship. I was surprised there weren't a bunch of divorce lawyers following that vehicle around.

Ah, but the all time, least favorite stickers are the ones that brag about a person's family. ASK ME ABOUT MY GRANDCHILDREN is one that just grinds on my last good nerve. It makes me want to grab these people and scream in their ear, "I don't give a #### about your grandkids!"

Or, how about, PROUD PARENT OF [you can fill in the blank here--Honor Roll Student, Eagle Scout, Juvenile Delinquet, Parolee, Etc]. Well, here's a news flash for these people, it's the same with your kids (or grandkids) as it is with your dogs, nobody thinks they're as cute as you do. And nobody wants either one forced on them!

So, there you have it, a few thoughts on bumper stickers and personalized tags. They can be humorous, and they can also tell a bit about a driver's personality as well. I guess that's why I've yet to put the sticker on my bumper that my sons got me for Father's Day, MOMMA DIDN'T RAISE NO FOOL...JUST AN IDIOT! I really should have a talk with those boys.